Moons Light

MY NEW BLOG. SAME NAME...SAME GAME. GO!
LINK IS BELOW. 


New blog.

Song: Composure-August Burns Red.

Too much to fucking think about tonight. And its all cuz of this song...or mostly.
Tonight tho, before i listened to this song even, I've felt confused. I still don't know WHAT to think. As in, i c a n ' t think. Idk what this is still and its got a tight hold of me...Thats for sure. I know i WANT to cut..But i don't know if i will...blah.

This song made me realize tho that i REALLY do need to let go. All the things that have happened in the past three years that are keeping me here..

-Jon leaving me for some random girl
-Trace killing himself over me.
-Charlie
-Jared who just fucked up my self esteem...
-All the guys that HAVE hurt me.
-Jake and his psychoticness
-All of the tit shows i shouldn't have done.
-The cutting that has destroyed so many things in my life..
-The eating disorders...
FUCK.

I figure laying it all out for everyone to see might help. Maybe Its a stupid idea...but eh.
I just WANT to let go. Badly. So...why c a n ' t I?
I have no idea....

but i have nothing else to say at the moment...

Send me messages on yer thoughts to Katie.goes.rawrz@gmail.com. Cuz half the people that read these aren't followers. blah yeah

I believe in God. I do not believe in heaven or hell. I believe that our life, the way we live is considered Heaven or Hell. Depends on the person, the actions, and what happens in our world....


On another note.....
Three days in a row i've felt like shit. Not sick...More like mental. Last night was the worst when Patrick was around...I just don't know why i feel this way. Why i have so much hatred towards nothing.
Maybe you're right, Maybe this is all because i let myself get hurt.
Maybe its cuz i feel like you're too good for me...Like im just not worth it....You don't make me feel this way, i promise. But im afraid that im not good enough...
I just hurt. I...just want it to go away.

/end. Im done talking about it for now. Off to finish the comic and then...read something else i guess. Later.

So this blog post has pics. for a change. I think i might start adding pics for the fun of it. Plus it gives you an idea of what im thinking about. I was bored. Shhh...tho this subject is quite important to me.

     In Point Lay, Alaska the Walrus has migrated. Global warming...or so people think has killed off the glaciers that they once called home. It's one of the saddest things I've heard. The rise in temperature in the last 10 years has only brought bad things to all animals, not just the Walrus.
      The Polar bears are losing their habitat. Losing the ice means losing hunting opportunities, swimming conditions become dangerous as the ice moves further and further apart, and of course their population decreases. Thus these cute ass bears are making less babies...From what ive read scientists are predicting that a full 2/3 of Polar Bears will be gone by 2050...
   With Global Warming not only are animals affected, but the water is also affected. The Southwestern streams have been affected severely. These streams come from the mountains that have a huge downpour in snow, or once did. The water from these streams supply water for irrigation, purifying for drinking, Ecosystems for animals, and Native Americans. The threats to these streams have only gotten worse as the heat comes in more intensely and earlier. The spring temps come in usually 3-4 weeks earlier than in the past. The Winter temperatures have also gone up thus reducing the accumulation of snowpack in the mountains having an affect on the spring and summer melt offs which is declining.

   Reading all of this for me has given me a lot to think about. More the fact that there is no way to really stop the rising temps that are slowly killing off animals and reducing water. It has made me realize a lot that is going on today on earth that really didn't have much affect on the planet say 40 or 50 years ago. This all gives you a very small idea as to what exactly 'Global Warming' is and what it is doing to our ecosystem.

You are amazing.
You are perfect.
You are always there for me.
You are my life.





/end for now. ><

I'm slowly slacking in school. And idk..Ive been happy these last twoish days...but the reason ive been slacking is cuz ive been overwhelmed with this hate. I swear im on the wrong meds..They don't help the depression...they seem to just make things worse...and at the worst times!!!
Sometimes its so bad that i get pissy at the one i love..er..ones >< hahahaha
But seriously, i get snappy, i feel so helpless, and down...And i get it randomly! Its something i rather dislike.....


idk what else to say so it'll wait til tomorrow.

Life was awesome today. Totally completely. I have all control on me. I'm happy about that.

What im not happy about is guys. Not Patrick. He's perfect. Puzzle piece perfect. Damn ive been afraid to say that since Jon. But anyway thats not the deal.
Nor is it why im writing this...
Its this guy. Who wont just live with the fact that i have a guy and i wont give him up. I'm not dropping it with P for this other guy. Yet said other guy wont leave me alone at all. Keeps calling me sexy and telling me that he wants me. FUCK OFF. I have someone who i want. And yet when i tell this guy all of this..He persists with everything. Im so..UGH. Over guys wanting me. I never wanted to be wanted in the first place. FUCK.