Okay okay.
So im reading throo these and im like I HAVE TO POST THESE!
These are from TextsFromLastNight.com. Im just quoting them....they are hilarrr
"I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you"
"sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself."
"Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine."
"Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it."
"this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude"
"call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing"
"she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'"
"she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'"
"well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'"
"Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe."
"you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted"
