Song: The Word 'Best Friend' Become Redefined by Chiodos.
I'm really up and down today. A lot to think about, i guess.
What with school and Jo.
Johanna is really truly my best friend. And the thought of her killing herself scares me constantly because i know how rough life is on her. Its rough on me too. I just get so scared that one day she'll go through with it...I can't stand the thought of losing her....
And school....School is school. Since i failed its just been like. 'what do i do with myself now that i have nothing?' yaknow? Altho, now that I'm going to enroll at Apollo, it might be better. They offer an extra year. So instead of 4 years of highschool, if you don't get all of your credits you can have another year. I think thats why i really wanted to go there after we had our meeting with the vice principal. They offer tutoring and groups and its just...they seem to have teachers that want to help their students learn. Not just learn to take the state tests like they normally do. The teachers care about their students and I really really like that. A LOT.
My problem is just that i need to catch up with my math. I need to get myself motivated. And fast. But knowing me it wont last but a day or two. I'm just scared that maybe I wont make it....That i'll be doomed to failure my whole life. I mean i never wanted this. This isn't the way i had hoped my life would have gone. But it did and i guess i have to learn to live with it, and try and figure out ways to help myself get better with things.
And thats where i'm going to leave this. For now. Tomorrow i may have more...I'm not sure though.
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Together we will float like angels.
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