Things are looking clearer...No really, i got glasses. Bwahah. ><
Anyway..blog.
Song: Hearing Damage by Thorm Yorke
I'm in love with a guy i can't have. Its been the story of my life for a year and a half just about. I've grown to live with it. When he slipped through i cried, and cried, and i hope he reads these posts and sees how much i hurt...How he broke his promise to never hurt me.
But this is all besides the point.
My point today is...
"To be or not to be." Again. In its actual form from Macbeth.
Its how i've been starting off my days all week. Its how i feel. Living seems stupid but alas, dying too seems stupid. I'm stuck in the middle. The need to just go about as a person with no use. Make sense at all?
I haven't cut in what...3 months maybe? And today its sounded amazingly good. Like HEY Break out the blade bitch lets roll with it! But at the same time, i can't stand to break that promise i have with him.
I miss group, because i keep going back to the ED and cutting and burning and thinking about that stuff is hard without someone to talk to. not someone close enough...
Everything in life is just getting harder as I'm getting older.
I know thats how life is. I hate it.
On a brighter note...school is going well. Well okay school WORK is going well. People at school still suck except Kenzie who i pretty much look up to. I'll talk about her again some other time. At the moment i'm too tired...I'm off to take a nap....
No Comments
Cleaning up my mess of a life.
.
