Song: Cry Little Sister - Seasons After [has nothing to do with the title...]
Idk what to do right now.
I'm really hoping you're reading this Travis....This is for no one else but you....Well the first half at least..
Do i give up? If i gave up, id lose you for sure. Just know i'm like this with you because i truly love you. I'm not like this with guys. Not normally. I push you away, i say you don't love me...i do this because ive never been loved like this. I've never wanted to be wanted by someone so perfect. I've never had someone who wanted to...who wanted to want me...or cared or loved me the way you do. You have to understand...i do this because I've been hurt countless times. And i'm still hurting from that. And i know its fucked up that i in turn hurt you because im hurt. I don't mean to...You have to believe me when i say that i don't mean to hurt you babe...I really don't...I know i'm probably not going to be forgiven for hurting you this time around, and thats fine. I can live with that. I can...or hope i can live with you not wanting to talk for awhile[yeah i'll go nuts but i'll learn to live]...Just don't leave me for life..Please, i beg you not to leave me forever. You are the only thing that keeps me sane anymore. I know this doesn't cut it at all, but I'm sorry. Sorry for everything i've ever done to cause you any pain at all. All the times i've threatened to kill myself, the times ive pushed to away to the point of pure pain...All of it..I'm sorry..Beyond sorry...
On a high note...For anyone else whos reading and wants to know. Today was my last day of summer school. Thank effing god. I'm happy to do be done with that. I got next week to take the state exam tho. Hopefully i'll pass. I think i will. I'm confident.
I met someone really cool today. She's WAY into Yaoi! Which i loveee. And shes writing a yaoi manga. Which is wayyy coool. And ima learn how to draw manga and do yaoi too! And and and yes. I'm happy about that. It was the highlight of my day. Well that and the fact i wore high high heels to school. Was cool
Yeah. Lates.
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THERES BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS!
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